My self imposed vacation is soon coming to an end.

Summer school begins June the 5th. I'm probably going to snag some vacation time between May and June to come down to Houston, a trip that I've been putting off for months.

I think I got what I wanted from this time off. I've gained insight as to how people percieve me and that I'm a really awesome barista. I feel more competent and confident speaking with strangers. Dealing with stress is another skill that's been honed over this time. I also feel like I've become more a part of the Austin community and it's been fun to learn that I can pedal my butt anywhere it needs to go in this town. Being able to read what I want, when I want has probably been the best part.

Crime and Punishment was the most major book I've read since The Fountainhead. I read it as an exercise in truly reading something. I wrote down quotes, character summaries, themes, instead of just internalizing them like I usually do. Something I noticed in way back in high school, and last semester especially, is my tendency for my mind to wander while I read, but still absorb just enough information to get what is going on in the textbook or story. I'll start a page, then start planning my weekend, my grocery list, what I am going to wear the next day, and by the end of the page I don't quite know what happened, but I know just enough so that I can piece it together when I keep reading. This habit is okay for getting through books, but it is horrible for truly understanding them.

For Crime and Punishement I decided to not let that happen once. If my mind wandered I reread the page. It  took me three days to get through that book and I understood everything that happened. It was completely worth it. This story is very powerful, dark, and gives a good view of Russia back in the 1880's. Raskolnikov is an unbelievalby depressed ex-law student who believes he is better than most those around him. On a deranged whim he sets out to kill a pawn broker whom he has been selling too in order to keep some kind of livlihood. The rest of the story he is racked by guilt and paranoia. "If he has conscience he will suffer for his mistake. That will be his prison and his punishment."

I had just watched all of Death Note before beginning this book and noticed some similiarites, there are a lot of mind games and irony in this story. There are also a lot of portraits of people, most of them completely down trodden. This is not a book that will brighten a person's day at all, but it is absorbing.

The next book I read is The Human Stain. It is much shorter than C&P and much less convoluted. I can't describe too much of this story because the twist in it is so essential. The only thing I can say is that no one is ever quite what they seem. Everyone has a secret or a trait that isn't evident at first glance. This book is about people living a lie, coming to terms, or failing to come to terms, with what they decided to hide. This is also super good stuff. I'm making Paul read it now that I'm done.

Between C&P, Death Note, and The Human Stain, the world has taken a darker shade as of late. Next to me I have Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami. Hopefully that will give me a brighter perspective. Murakami books always make me feel awesome.