The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why
You brought me here
But just because
You love me the way that
You do I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

No I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way
I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
 And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through And I will go through the darkness
If You want me to

When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Is believing in Christ a religion to you?

this is the 3rd time i've deleted and started over on this journal...not sure what i really wanted to say...just that i went back on some old cyworld friend pages and noticed that a lot of them don't use cyworld anymore..cy isn't what it use to be. i miss the old hompie pages and the old cy ppl. not that i don't like the new ones, it's just that most of them seem faker then the last. then of course it's the net...it's all fake.

i remember a few years ago...that's a lot of years ago, my friend from NC, a internet lover, chat bumb and "my hearts been broken by my internet lovers once too many times" told me about a "could have been prevented tragic" internet love affair that happened to him and one of his "good internet friends". i guess it all started, in most chat rooms. my friend, let's call him "mark" and his friend "benny" along with 2 other girls mary (<--- real name) and "krissy". mark and mary....benny and krissy, they were the "ideal" internet couple which later turned out to be something more outside the internet.

benny and krissy were the "hottest" couple. they fell madly in love. talked on the phone almost everyday. benny arranged to go and see her. let's see...both of them live in different states...i think, forgot. anyway, oneday, benny received a call from an unk male...turns out that he was krissy's husband. her husband threatened him and told him to back off. krissy's mother somehow got involved and talked to benny. pleaded with him to take her daughter away from her husband. it was very hard on benny. after that episode, he stopped going online. don't know what ever happened to him...i'll have to ask my NC friend.

as for mark and mary....mark went to see mary in CO for Christmas one year. he asked me to help him pick an expensive gift for her. he wanted to get her diamonds. i was like "boy! no! you don't know her that well and no!" so he ended up getting her rubies instead. which was still expensive. aiyo. owell. anyway, he went to spend Christmas with her. met her family and so on...my cousin and i made a bet. i bet that he was going to mary her the next year and my cousin bet the opp. guess who won. cousin did. anyway, later on the next year, after mark have spent over, "don't know how many dollars" for this chica, including airfares and hotels, she ended up getting married to this guy in her hometown. left him heart broken..this was the first girl. the second...don't know much...the third or was it fourth...she lived in WI, turns out she went crazy and started to act up everytime he called, so they're no longer together....i lost count after that one.

oyeah, after the first chica did that to him, i told mark that he should have given those rubies to me. at least i was still his friend and wouldn't leave him like she did. ^___^ of course we both just laughed it off.

but on the good side...i use to work with this girl when i lived down in NC, she and her husband met via internet and they got married. i think 3 months after they met in person. not sure how long they chatted before the met. hopefully they're still together.

wow...this was a long back to the past journel.


*final thought*

I GUESS INTERNET RELATIONSHIP WORKS FOR SOME...BUT NOT FOR ME. BECAUSE I CHOOSE NOT TO GO THAT ROUTE. IT'S GOOD TO HAVE "INTERNET" FRIENDS, THAT WAY YOU CAN HELP EACH OTHER OUT, LIKE FINDING NEW WEBSITES AND ALL, BUT ON A PERSONAL LEVEL, THAT'S SOMETHING ELSE.

today's been a roller coaster for me....mood swings...over eating....tummy hurts...over caffeinated...stuck at work...crazy callers at work...etc.

overall i'm blessed that God is with me and forgiving of all my trespasses.