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Jul 12, 2008

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i miss you even when i don't see you..
you even when i don't see you.. (Jul 12, 2008 11:20 pm)

let's end the bitterness of the past away..hehe..
i just remembered something i told krishna yesterday..^^

"i miss you even when i see you.."

actually, i don't actually miss him.. i don't even think of him anymore [when i don't see him..^^;].. but when i actually see him..talk to him [kahit simpleng "hi" at "hello" lang ang conversation namin].. i miss him.. i long for his voice and smile.. and when i see him.. ughhh.. it makes my day! mushy??? yeah, i know..but love is supposed to be at some point, right?

so this is actually a response to krishna's blog..i forgot the title and i don't want to read or spend even a single sight on that blog.. she's bitter about all the waiting in vain and pursuing an unrecognized love.. she even said to let things go.. but.. knowing her.. she, the writer and adviser herself, doesn't have the guts to do that.. and in fact, she still belongs to the club of people who waits in vain..hahaha..

waiting for someone without having any assurances if that person will even spend a single sight on you is just and definitely a weird and absurd idea.. me, myself, strongly agreed to that before.. i mean, why would you waste your precious time waiting and waiting and still patiently waiting for someone who will never ever see your worth..? totally ridiculous..!

but i know, at some point, each one of us will experience this..to be tinkerbell to our peter pan.. and you'll know how it feels.. being content by just watching in the sidelines.. smiling and laughing at even the corniest joke that you'll ever him from that person.. having the most memorable memory of having a 10-minute ride with him and sitting by his side in a train.. haha.. people may think that this is absurd or overacting..

but isn't love supposed to be like this? something that can make you feel happy during your most saddest days.. something that will make you feel floating in the air as if there were nobody else but you and that person.. however, the saddest and most agonizing part is that you are the only one who can feel it and not the other party..

how can you possibly let go of someone you have wished for so long? how could you possibly give up something that you fought for?

but when you learn and realize that the other party will not see your worth, learn how to let go.. we are always blinded by our idea of waiting patiently and he will soon set his eyes on me.. but it's a hell of an idea to live with.. because there is a far better person for you.. the truth that he didn't see you is just enough to make you realize that the fight is over..

and letting it go doesn't mean you are giving up.. you are just opening your doors to others.. because when we wait.. we only see ourselves and that person.. and there're no other rooms for someone else to come in.. but when you know that all your efforts are of to no avail.. stop it.. wake up..stop thinking of something that can only happen in dreams and fantasies..

however, the joys and the memories -- no matter how bitter..how painful..how sad..it will and definitely remain for the rest of your life..

it might be harsh and hard to accept but the fact that you have learned how to wait and love patiently is a greater memory than not having waited and loved at all..

so for the people who are waiting in vain..go..
fall in love..
but don't let  yourselves drowned in your illusions and fantasies..
hell,, your life isn't only for him!
whatever we experience in this life, whether good or bad, happy or sad, all are worth remembering..and all the people we have met..we have been with or not are all worth being remembered..
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