Crush Crush Crush it's called "Crush for a reason"

it's been a long time i talked about a crush on a "normal" person.
well he's really not normal.LOOOL
what i meant about normal was... someone i can actually talk to.
oh wait-- i just crush from afar. (yes i'm shy and crazy)
WTH. i think this is my 1st crush i actually talk to like every time.
not some guy i saw in t.v and get all die-hard-crazy over them.
(...like searching for pictures, info and songs kinda like a stalker too. LMAO)

it started this february
it was really UNEXPECTED it caught me OFF-GUARD
he just talked to me like-- out of no where.
normally (for me) imma have crush feelings for someone i just saw the first time
for example:
a super handsome guy who can make you drool passes by and says hi to you
then you can feel yer heart beats so fast and feel like fainting and then you run

^that was crush for me. but wtf happened. i got to know a guy first?! ROFL yes it's the other way around for me and it's crazy. heck. what's wrong with me.

..then we talked like everyday about random things and i feel giddy after reading it all again after he signs off
then.. we talk like fighting kinder garden lovers publicly.
people start to think we are but we are NOT. we are not even a "we" it's just "him and i"
and people start to talk about it.
@ first it was just something to be entertained and laughed about and that but after..

well. so i thought i was-- special "somewhat special" but yeah. now i know i really am not even close to being "special". =_=

i actually just felt special in times like when he said "feel special. your my 3rd friend in msn" or something like it.

he's really pretty nice. he never ignores me or anything. if i have some petty problem.. he wants to kill the heck out of the person who made me feel that way. and-- very entertaining to talk to.
i already told him "honestly, no one ever made me laugh so hard"

yep. now its time for the "CRUSHING" part.
he's unconsciously hurting me. i know! i know! it's just unfair 'cos i don't know what he really feels but i feel like he doesn't care like even a bit bout it. it's all but just games. but-- in games there's always a winner and loser. imma be K.O if that happens.

pfff.. and what irks me alot is-- i think of him even if i'm not supposed to do it. i promise!! i try to avoid the feeling

well.. after a day i collected what i feel and start to tell myself to avoid this freaking feeling.. he just pops out of no where and starts talking to me.
and what made me even more confused was.. the guy "i like" was back but i know after that convo it's gonna be like the other time.. it's gonna be awkward again.

that's why i avoid.
i don't want awkwardness in the middle of friendship
i don't want that feeling of "what-do-i-say-next" moments

so i'm STFU 'til whatever.. forever.
it's just a really a unrevealed feeling for someone who MADE ME LIKE HIMSELF. (yes he did)
i'm sooo gullible ~_~


Now, I get it. It's UNFAIR. It's not that I'm demanding for his attention (i kinda got it) but...it's quite unfair really.

There's always that someone who'll be in your thoughts, it'll be quite inevitable to not think of him...but is there someone in this world that thinks of me the same way I think of him?

Though there were those memorable moments when I really felt something but I don't want to be assuming and say that he feels the same way...DUH. There could be a loooot of reasons why he talks to me everyday like non stop... maybe i'm just crazy enough to entertain him with my random thoughts

but whatever. i'll wait forever til whatever i think will happen. :D


***the funny part is.. i always play "Friend by wonder girls" everyday, every time. it just stops when i need to turn off the pc.

blah blah blah. this is too long now :p so thankies whoever was entertained with my stupid pointless crushing.. that crushes me.LOL but i still do REALLY LIKE HIM even if i keep on telling him i hate him and denying it <3

hajiman malhal su eobseo
Nae mamsoge salgo inneun neol

dream.dream.dream on~!!

Facebook "its called CRUSH for a reason"

1. What is your nickname and why the hell does people call you that?
-star,  mari, maristar, stariray, doll~ etc.

2. What is your most favorite food in the whole wide world which you cannot live w/o?
-rice^^

3. How do you feel today?
-not so good

4. If you have a superpower, what would it be?
-i won't run out of money^^

5. If someone told you, "I love you" and your boyfriend/girlfriend is with you, what will you do?
-say thank you^^

6. Are you a cry baby?
-maybe?LOL

7. Name THREE(3) person your thinking of right now.
-lysa
-*toot*
-*toot*
LOL

8. Do you have any secial one-of-a-kind talent?
-umm~~ i can change how i look.LOL

9. Do you think someone loves you?
-yes<3 

10. Do you think someone hates you?
-yes  TT^TT

11. Are you a make-up fanatic?
-guilty.LOL

12. When you saw a door that said "Pull" would you "Push" it?
-yes~ i dont follow instructions.LOL
once i saw a chair~ it says "do not sit~ broken"
i still sat.LOL i fell. XD

13. One happy moment during college?
-not in college yet.

14. One sad moment at your present school.
-umm~~ i left my bestfriends :'(

15. Is there someone you like?
-yes^^

16. Is there someone you hate or despise?
-hmm~~ no? maybe.LOL

17. Most romantic moment.
-uh? idk.LOL

18. Do you like to watch movies? if yes what kind?
-romatic comedy. <3

19. What time did you wake in this morning?
-3am O_O

20. If you can change the world according to your will, what would you change?
-change~~evil to good?LOL

21. Are you religious?
-yes^^ im a household leader. i got  members.LOL yey!

22. Do you play any instruments?
-piano, lyre.LOL

23. Are you happy?
-kinda^^

24. What is your favorite number?
-17 <3

25. Name three(3) material things you possess that you can't live w/o (except foods drinks,clothes and air)
-money.LOL duh
-comfort room
-make-up.
LOL
gawd im vain XD
LOL

i have 4 nephews^^

E.Z

i was so excited when he was born 'cos im gonna be an auntie^^

he's a very playful kid and-- yeah spoiled but,

really cool kid.

he's now 4 years old and studying.

THE TWINS

kurt & dwayne

LOL. find the difference. haha

they're 2 years old and super active.

it was funny how they were born.

i just cant tell that here. hohoho

Zac

a very shy kid. always wanna be with his parents.

he's 2 years old.

we aren't that close 'cos he's too shy.

but i still play with him^^

i made him come to me when i bought chocolates for him. LOL

trap!

okay. now these are the makers. LOL

i got access to my brothers' private photos.

and imma post it here! bwahahaha

be ready. its PORN!

jk. LOLs

lets start with the first creator.^^

my big brothaaa meck

&

my sis-in-law michelle

their creation

second creator

and my older big brothaa ronald

&

my sis-in-law che

their creation

MORE PICTURES!!

i actually WANT that

ain't it cute?

and here is the other twin! the're so funny if you get to know them^^

i just dunno which is which. LOL

WTH happened?

aww.. he golfs too^^

LOL. wow. where is it?

you can actually make him a slave. hahaha jk

with his mommy

THE GRUDGE

holloween^^

look at E.Z's haircut! LOL.

LOL. okay we said eat the rice. why is the rice eating you dwayne?!

thats poop. LOL jk its chocolate^^

PORN

again

LOL. this is my favorite^^

i lurrrrrrvvv them so much and miss them!

i haven't seen them for a month :(

oh wells.

imma give them gifts for christmas! wohoo

HOPE YOU SMILED^^