Maybe it is why they say that the happiest face sometimes hides the most hurting heart... I've reached a sense of euphoria already. I've emerged unscathed from our last encounter... but just like a self-imposed anesthesia, the nerves will begin to feel again. And it hurts. It hurts once again but this time the pain is doubling me over. Maybe that is why God made the heart incredibly resilient, that no matter how much someone has hurt you, you never lose your sense of self, and you never get lost in the pain that spreads through your soul like wildfire. And I wonder, why me and not him? I know for sure that he does not feel the same torment I feel in the pit of my soul. That my only defense is to never let him get too close again… that maybe one day he will not exist, and this pain will exist no longer