i'm a horrible friend, i couldn't even make it to the burial today...i woke up about the time they started the ceremony, i thought that i could handle it. i thought that i could make it to both the wake and the burial, but i just couldn't. the first time i looked at you in that coffin, i just wanted to get on the knees and cry. i couldn't even look at you longer than 2 seconds. it pained me so much to know that you're gone. i thought that i could be stronger i'm really sorry that i couldn't go. you were like a big sister to me, i can't believe that you're gone now.

i know you're somewhere up there because you were a good person, and you were very loved, it took forever for us to find a parking place and it was soo crowded with your friends and family! it just pains me to know that you suffered.

i know you're up there, the most beautiful angel of all.

i'm so sorry