I KNEW IT!



YOU will never be happy in a static position that keeps YOU forever tied down to one place or activity.

For change is the spice of life for YOU and you will have to keep moving.

Travel agent , tour director , travelling sales person , artist ,writer,drama critic ,theatrical director or producer, politician , sportsman , psychologist ,analyst , linguist , philosopher , sales promotion , publicity , beauty expert , physical culturist , musician , dancer , columnist ,photographer, plastic surgeon , flyer are some fields suited to YOU.

Develop an interest in or expertise in some active sport and certainly in travel if you are not so employed.With your keen sense of perception , you should meet and become involved with all manner of different people and groups for interest.

Credits: www.numerology.googlepages.com

It's been billions of years since the last time I visited my cyworld page and I cannot believe how much I have neglected it. Usually I would just visit my facebook or multiply but I don't know what prompted me to visit cyworld. Again.

So I started browsing through my previous blog entries and I could definitely say that half or even more than half of my blog entries are really badly written so I decided to erase some of it but after a while I got tired so I stopped. It has never been my thing to write an entry then recheck it after before posting usually I would type whatever comes into my mind and post that's it.

It has been such a long time since the last time I sat in front of the computer and wrote on my blog without having to worry about anything at all because school's off so I'm free but sadly it has to begin again in three weeks. So soon.

I went to school early this morning to enroll and finally after hmm..three long and torturous semesters fate has brought the "siblings" back in each others arms again. Yey the best part of being back to school is that Fatima, Cerina and I are blockmates again. The sad part though is that we're back in death row again. Anyway one more year left after this and I'm free! Just a little bit more.  For this year I just want it be to exactly the way it was back during the second semester during sophomore year a long, tiring and stressful travel but still worth taking and every little effort paid off.

I am currently reading a book called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrnes and this book totally changed the way I see life. No book has ever made me think so deeply before about how I lead my life this book totally inspired me and helped me become a stronger person.

(To Be Continued...)

Perhaps this is the best paper I have written so far that I was a ble to please a notorious professor such as ___( I'm not naming any names I'd rather not get into any trouble) and that she has even reminded me a number of times during the school year to give her a copy of my paper. Then a month ago which was already summer time she texted me one early mornng which woke me up reminding me to send her a copy of my paper though I'm sure I already sent her a copy of my paper I still sent her another copy just to make sure. She told me that she is pushing through with compiling the best Philosophical papers and officially putting it up on the College Library. WOW I'm shocked it's definitely an honor for me! THANK YOU! 


Anyway here's my paper...



 My parents have been both separated even before I was born. My sister and I have been raised by my mother without any support coming from my father and until now, there has been no communication between us and my father. Ever since my parents separated, my mother together with my sister and later on me has been living with my relatives on the mother side in a compound. However, my family on the mother side is very dysfunctional and it just seems to make no difference having separated parents from a very dysfunctional family. It is a total chaos at home because there are always fights here and there, backstabbing and gossiping. I have no idea how a normal Filipino would be able to stand living with my family but I am pretty much sure that none of my friends would last a couple of weeks living with my family. I’ve also had a lot of experiences from the past even up to now of being looked down to and judged by my other relatives, and of which their painful words have been etched into my memory. But even though my family is a total mess, what I have gone through with life also played a vital role as to why I am striving so hard right now in my studies.

Memory is something that is found somewhere so deep into the mind and there is no possibility that any human can create a concrete study on it. It is a human being’s best kept secret that nobody could ever get into fully except for the one who owns it. Usually, a human person only sees its beauty or ugliness through its surface but does not truly know its real purpose in her life until the right time comes. Certain situations happening in a human person’s life enables her to unconsciously release her memories similar to the current situation or event she is in and this serves as a guide in making her final decision.

Memories are moments of our lives that we accumulate every day. It is a mixture of good and bad events that has happened to a human person’s life and has moved her inner self in a certain way. A memory’s intensity is measured by how it has touched the inner self of a human person. The stronger the impact of the memory to a person, the longer and the more detailed a human person remembers it. We recall a lot of things that has happened to us but there are only a few that we truly remember in detail. A lot of times it is the most painful and the most inhuman instances in our lives that move us strongly and that triggers more change in us, regardless if we have gone through it ourselves or if we have just passed by it and has struck us in a certain way than anything else in this world.

In my experience, I have seen a lot of chaos in my family since childhood that would flash back into my mind every now and then. If I tell another human person my story she definitely wouldn’t see any way of how it could influence me to change, but I would see it the other way around. I believe that it is only the one who owns it that has the capacity to understand it fully. I think that the more painful a memory is the more impact it would create to a human person, because it is always through excruciating experiences that we get the real insight of life. To me, I have never seen my family members help each other and treat each other with genuine love so later on that experience have brought me to a realization that I should grow into a better person than my family. My relatives have criticized me and talked behind my back regarding my college course, religion and friends to name a few but I geared such painful memories to help me show them all that I can be more than they think I can be. Right now, I think that everything is working so well because as far as I see it I am doing academically well at school so far.

Human persons act in certain ways based from experiences which we also refer to as memories. The influence or motivation that a human person feels strongly about a certain thing or event arises from her memories without her realizing it. These things happen because memories flash back to a person when a certain event happening to her life at the moment is at some point similar to what she has once experienced. People always tend to act according to how they think a current situation they’re in would affect them later on which explains why memories serve as their guide, as I have stated earlier.

Memories are always a mixture of something good and bad. A human person who encounters an event that brought her to a memory of the past similar to that of the current situation she is in that ended badly or painfully before, would lead her to decide to choose the path that would allow her to avoid such memory to reincarnate so as to counter the bad memory with something good. A human person who is under a situation that would bring her back to a memory that is quite similar to the situation she is in right now which yielded good results before, would probably have the tendency to take the risk of exploring the other possibilities of how to deal with such situation resulting to something that could either be painful or good. If it continuously yields good results, there would still come a time wherein the human person would also end up experiencing the painful side. Memories duplicate each other, though it has its own differences from the other memories. If we come to analyze it more closely, memories have its own similarities from one another. The reason for the duplication of memories is that it helps us develop not just into a better human person but also a critical one. It challenges us to seek within us the past that brought us to the current situation or to find something within us that is similar to our current situation.

It is normal for a human person to think how come certain occurrences in their lives get stuck in their minds. Deep insight is bound within those memories that the human person should uncover as she goes on with life. Memories get into the minds of a human person without the human person fully understanding why it matters so much to her or simply why it got into her mind. Memories are like puzzles. One memory can be fully understood with the support of another memory that is somewhat related to the first one. Memories wait for the human person to uncover its real message and that’s when the real transformation of a human person comes. While the human person on the other hand, spend his lifetime wondering and waiting for the real answers of those memories. One memory has to wait for its supporting memory to happen before the human person learns to cherish it truly. The importance and worth of a memory to a person only comes when a memory’s message is completely realized and this happens as time goes by and as a human person continues to go along with life. Every little moment becomes a memory that leaves certain clues on how to reach the ultimate insight of the memories. All in all, this process of searching for the messages or insights lasts a lifetime.

If memories of a particular human person were made into a movie or a novel, it would be like telling a story of the particular human person with more depth than how the human person or the others see her life as. Living in this world allows a person to see only the outside of everything. As we stop all our usual life activities we are able to get access to the inner dimension of our memories and there, we engage in exploring the deepest insights of our memories. When all the messages of the memories have already been discovered, a feeling of true bliss and self worth arises in the human person. We accumulate memories throughout our lifetime and so the discovery of the true messages of our memories also lasts a lifetime.

 Memories basically define who the human person is. It helps explain why a particular human person behaves in a certain way. Memories have the power to build the person and control her. It answers the question why we usually investigate on a human person’s past experiences, which we think would have caused a great impact on her that resulted to the way she is right now to understand her. Sometimes, a human person undergo experiences that are truly painful to her and that she thinks that she cannot overcome it so she suppresses it into her mind and forces herself not to think about it. Escape is never the answer to the memories we refuse to think about. Human persons have memories because as I have stated earlier, these have certain messages to us that intend to create a huge transformation in our lives that would put us in accord with the life and the world. If a human person refuses to find the answers to her memories, she gets stuck into a particular stage and does not grow into a more mature individual. If this happens, her life becomes a total mess and she would totally get lost in her life. These things would transpire because bliss was never found and which only comes when the answers have been finally found. Memories come with a challenge of searching for the real meaning of one’s self. If a human person succeeds in finding the answer, she in turn experiences total bliss as to being able to find the deep insight of her memories.

Events turn into unforgettable lifetime memories because it has caused a huge unexpected change to the life of a human person. A lot of times, changes do not occur to a person unless it is generated by an unexpected event. However, such changes cannot guarantee if the human person would change for the better or for worse. The final decision is always and forever will be at the hands of the human person.

I'm so effing tired! It has only been 3 weeks and i feel so tired like hell already. i can't beleive this is happening!

Today:





i went to school today feeling hopeless that I'll never have Cerina and Fatima as my blockmates for my sophomore year. Then God blessed me and gave me a schedule so perfect for me becasue it was just similar to my sched. in last school year's second sem. which means Cerina's still my blockmate and we'll still go home together!! However Fatima still is not my blockmate I miss her a lot and all the stupid this we do and talk about. It has been a very busy and tiring and hot day! can't beleive it!  Tomorrow I'm bound for Bora so I'll be back on Sunday and I won't be albeo t update my blogs for a while. I'll miss this!

1. I AM AN OBSESSED FAN OF THE TWILIGHT SERIES BY STEPHENIE MEYER. As much as I want to control myself how can I if the book is too irresistable? But I'm working on it right now. It's hard when you want something too much for your own good.

2.  I HATE MATH, COMPUTER, SCIENCE AND JUST RECENTLY HISTORY. Basically if you know me well (actually even though you don't know me that much but as long as you've been my blockmate or just a close friend) then you'd have an idea how much I loathe these subjects. Especially computer. I have no hope with computer and I have totally shunned away my hope from it right after graduating from high school and I have sworn in the deepest pit of my coconut shells that I will never succeed in Programming and Turbo C and as much as I wanted to learn it and be fairly good at it there's just no way that I will pass this subject again without the help of a programming genius at my side sad but true. Math has been my constant enemy from the day I was born however for the first semester of my freshman year in college it became my constant companion but still there's no way that I'd love this subject I'd rather throw myself in Marianas Trench than to spend my entire life learning about numbers which would not cooperate at all with my patience. Then one of the greatest tragedies I have ever had in my life came to me during the second semester of my freshman year as a College student. HISTORY BABY! How many times have I heard teachers tell that " PHILIPPINES DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY HISTORY." We are a country colonized,victimized,abused,colonized,victimized,abused and then repeat. Have we colonized a nation? Our politicians can't even manage the country itself. Did we created our own language? Did we really wrote our own history? Who knows? So basically after killing myself from studying thick chapters of deadly history books and answering killer essays of my abusive history professor I was given a grade too unfair for a student who has gone insane from studying endlessly over a subject nobody really cares about.      

3. I WILL BECOME A SUCCESSFULL EVENT ORGANIZER SOON. It is comforting to know that after all I have a dream I yearn to fulfill for myself and for the people who do not believe that I 'd end up in a reputable job in the near future. Ever since I was in high school I've been battling with myself if this is what I really wanted to become and then the doors started opening in college making me more determined to become one. All I need is a little more fighting spirit and connections then I'm done. The fact that I have already made a promise to someone that I would organize her event someday just give me a little time to develop myself. So why not?

4. I LOVE MUSIC. I may not be as musically inclined as the other lucky dudes and chicks out there but I know how to appreciate music. I am so in love with the music of Augustana, All American Rejects,Leona Lewis and A Fine Frenzy. Apart from that I also enjoy listening to some of the songs of Paramore, Dashboard Confessional, The Click Five (and I am head over heels Kyle Patrick, the TC5 Vocalist ohh I would do anything for him! Hahahaha), John Mayer, Yellowcard, Katharine Mcphee and etc. Everything may fade and die but music will always stay.    

5.FOOD IS WHERE THE HEART IS.  I love food and there’s nothing you can do about it. Every people I know is amazed with my stomach's capacity which seems to be never ending. This is how I enjoy life so til' then CHOW!                                                                                     

 6. I DON'T GO TO CHURCH BUT I DO PRAY EVERY NIGHT.  Okay I won't be a liar about this besides what will I get from lying about this? So I may not be as religious as the other people out there who go to church religiously every Sunday. But I do not regret or feel that much guilt at all. I am a sinner and as much as I want to be the nicest person in the world that would just be next to impossibility right? I can't take the fact that I accumulate sins everyday of my life and then I would go to a church shamelessly like I am the patron saint of good deeds during Sundays just so I could follow the traditional practices of the Catholics. I love God and my religion but to go to Church against my will and with me tarnished with faults and lies just like any human being is a greater sin. Despite that fact I still have a great faith in God which keeps me from praying to him every night for guidance and forgiveness. I do strongly believe in eternal damnation as well. If there is Heaven then there would definitely be Hell.  

7. THE BORACAY ESCAPE. City life is full of excitement and idiosyncrasy. So Boracay is a great excape. I go there religiously every year with my family ever since we landed in the paradise in 2005. Actually I'm bound to go there the day after tomorrow for the last of summer. If you want some peace of mind without going too far yet too near this is the perfect place.  

8.I HAVE AN IMPOSSIBLE HEIGHT OF FIGHTING SPIRIT. I really do and I wouldn't elaborate much on that anymore. I like to believe things which majority of the people would no doubt believe too impossible to happen. If I just have the freedom to move on my own I could have tried to prove them all wrong if it does not work out then that's it at least I tried let alone the possibilty of me dying of shame after some time thinking about whatever I did (Besides what is life without comedy?) and if it did happen then I just proved them all wrong. I grew up making myself believe that in this superficial world there are things which are impossible to their sight that can be turned into reality. It's too bad my freedom is not my own hands yet but someday I will try. 

 9. I HATE MEN. As much as I adore them I hate them to the deepest pit of hell as well. I can imagine having a boyfriend but it equally gives me shudders of disgust. So getting married in the future is still under negotiation with me but I am 75-90% certain for now that I wouldn't get married. I love living this way! Why do you need to get married when you can have the freedom of being single? I do not need to raise my voice to higher octaves and grow old feeding and raising children who wouldn't go parallel with your knowledge of right and wrong because after all by that time you wouldn't be living in the same generation as theirs just as much as how you are with your parents now.  So where's the thing which we call COMPROMISE? Down six feet under.  

10. I AM THE EPITOME OF BEAUTY OF MYSELF.  I may sound so thick for my own good but that's just how life is I am sorry I am only human. Why should I adore other creatures when I have me? I am tired of self-esteem issues and I barely even believe anymore in the power of experts talking about self-confidence. I can develop my own. If I have such high fighting spirit then it's just a common sense that to be able to believe that I can reach the impossible I have to believe myself as well. I am my own idol and I am not just going to settle to any stereotypes out there who would just allow themselves to be brainwashed buy those pretenders and feeling know-it-alls. If they believe themselves why should they allow themselves be tormented by photoshoped images of themselves in oversized billboards, thick to death make ups 24/7 in their faces, over exaggerated outfits, demanding agents and so called experts in fashion then hide all their flaws beneath? You call that hide and seek. These people hide all their flaws at all costs and the flawed people/victims of the steriotypical culture on the other hand continuously look for the falws of these so-called perfect creatures. Where's the self-esteem in that?