i alot of things have happened... it's almost a year now since i graduated from college... yeah i already got a job... but as time passes, i realized i'm not enjoying on what i do in my job... yeah i'm an artist too in my current job but not d "artist" i wanted to be.... so i decided to take up a crashed course so dat i can make my dreams come true... ever since high school i wanted to be a 3d animation artist and dat's what i'm learning in my crashed course right now... and i wonder, will i really be a 3d artist like what i dreamed of... i hope so... yeah 3d is really hard but i think if i practice again and again, i will overcome d trial... right now, i'm still scared to see d results of d path i wanted to take... but yeah, i trust HIM... if i really believe in HIM and in MYSELF dat i can make my dreams come true, nothing is impossible... yeah i have to work hard to reach my goal... FIGHTING!!! CHEONJUGA MIDEOYO!!!

being a girl, it's normal for me to like boys... yeah i have lots of boys in my mind dat i like/have a crush on... most of them ofcourse are good looking... but these days, something is bothering me... i think i'm starting to fall in love with this "guy"... i can't really tell he's name or more about him... i don't want any1 to know who this guy is... actually i think i'm starting to fall for him bcoz of his personality... yeah, every girl will like a guy like him... he's not dat good looking... just average.... i think he didn't even know dat i like him... yeah i'm good at this, hiding my feelings... and to forget my feelings for him, i tend to force myself to like other boys who ofcourse are good looking compared to him... haha, i'm such a kid in this kind of situation...

wah.. long time no talk... well actually, i'm recovering these days... coz lately i've experience a lot of "not so good" experiences, so dat made me down for like months...

anyway, coincidentally, dat "downside" was on the same time or month when boa confessed dat she's not happy anymore being a singer... but the "boa thing" was not d reason why i'm down, it's more of my personal reasons, about me... and ofcourse not boa... it just happened that we (boa & me) experienced d same sadness... so i think i know how she feels during dat time...

during those days, i was so down dat i feel like i'm loosing myself. because of too much trust/confidence in my skills/capability as an artist, i got lost in track... yeah, in a bad manner, i underestimate other people's skills, so i made a mistake... coz i didn't pay much attention on  "what to do" and "what not to do" in doing my artworks, so i almost failed coz some people didn't appreciate my works... because of that, i got depressed... i asked myself what i did wrong... i even think dat maybe i'm really not good and dat "art" is not for me...

and yeah, in times like this, i need someone to help me... so i just pray to HIM... i even admit  what i did wrong... i asked for forgiveness and for HIS help to make me realize my dream... i asked HIS help for everything... after dat, though it took me long before i finally made myself to recover, yeah, i learned dat in everythirng i do, i should always put HIM first... maybe bcoz i was turning to be so proud of myself, during those times, i forget about him w/o even realizing, so he gave me a lesson-- dat i should always put my feet on the ground and never forget about HIM...

and now i know, i didn't really failed... its just i didn't get d results i want... but its ok... d important thing is i got back to my senses... and i'll start all over again though it's hard... also, i know now dat there's a gud reason for everything... yeah i'll put HIM first and never forget to put my feet on the ground for this new journey that i'll be starting again....