I'm still feeling a little down from watching the ending of a Korean drama I've been religiously watching. It wasn't a disappointing ending. No, not at all. It was, in fact, an ending I will remember for a very long time. It was so tragic, the last scene will forever be etched in my mind (and I have yet to rewatch them with English subtitles >.<).

Mawang (The Devil) starring: Joo Ji Hoon as Lawyer Oh Seung Ha, Uhm Tae Woong as Detective Kang Oh Soo, and Shin Min Ah as the librarian, Seo Hae In. It's a mystery drama about revenge, justice and forgiveness. Oh Seung Ha seeks revenge on Kang Oh Soo for an incident 12 years ago. Seo Hae In will be helping Detective Kang Oh Soo decipher the mysterious series of murders hinted by only tarot cards and anonymous packages, as they slowly unravel how the series of murders are connected to Kang Oh Soo and the incident 12 years ago.

Seriously, the ending is deeply engraved on my forehead! I can't get it out of my head. Don't look down if you don't want spoilers from the final 20 or so minutes of the last episode. ~_~






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ONE BIG SPOILER!


Oh Seung Ha asking for Kim Young Chul's help 3 years ago.

Kang Oh Soo and the gun.

Oh Seung Ha's office... one last glance.

Oh Seung Ha, stabbed by someone.

Seo Hae In with Seung Ha's gift -- his treasured music box & ring.

Seung Ha, on his way to meet Oh Soo at the junkyard.

Oh Soo, threatening to kill Seung Ha.

...but decided against it.

Seung Ha, forcing Oh Soo to shoot him.

With guilt eating him up, Seung Ha decided to kill himself.

But Oh Soo stopped him and they struggled with the gun.
Until Seung Ha accidentally shot Oh Soo.

And Oh Soo eventually died.

Guilt consumed Seung Ha even more.

He cried as he pleaded Oh Soo to wake up. "Iro na, Kang Oh Soo!"

Meanwhile, Hae In was on her way to the junkyard.

Seung Ha reminisced and finally forgave Oh Soo.

He died on Oh Soo's shoulder, with Hae In's whistle still in his hand.

Hae In arrived too late to even save Seung Ha.

The End.

I couldn't understand Korean so I can't really tell what's written on the last scene. >_<;;

At last, mayroon na ring taga-Ateneo sa Halo-halo!! This calls for a celebration!

Actually, even if I am extremely happy right now, I can't help but feel sad for myself. So many what-ifs are entering my mind right now. What if... I pursued Ateneo? Will I pass like Pauline just did?

Nanghihinayang ako dahil hindi ko tinuloy ang Ateneo. Hindi ko pinasa ang application form. Nakapag-test na ako at lahat, pero hindi ko man lang pinasa ang form. Nakakainis noh?

I can't help but wonder at the possibilities. Why? Because for the first time ever, I felt confident in answering the test questions. That only happened when I was taking up the ACET for the second time around.

What if...?

But hey, there's no point in dwelling in the past. What's done is done. Maybe it really wasn't meant fo me? Because this time around, I had no control over it.

Even if I feel a tinge of sadness in my heart, it is being overshadowed by the happiness I feel for Pauline. Even if it isn't me in Ateneo, at least it's Pauline. She can be the one to fulfill my... our dreams of becoming an Atenean. Hahaha. And besides, gustuhin ko mang maging maungkot, hindi ko kaya kasi sobrang masayang-masaya ako.

*SQUEEEEEEE~* Okay, I really cannot contain my excitement over this news!! Sobrang nakakabigla! Ang saya-saya! *dances*

As for me, I'll just make best use of what I have with me. Even if I am not in Ateneo, it doesn't mean that my dreams of becoming successful will not become a reality noh. It will still depend on me if I want to be successful or not. Ust is also a great school... I mean, it wouldn't be included in the top four if it isn't that great.

Grabe, aside from that, honto ni arigatou gozaimasu! Doumo arigatou gozaimasu! Because of this, I have come to a realization that I should move on. This is truly an eye-opener for me. I will make this as an inspiration to be the best I can be... No matter where I am studying, I will be the best I can be.

Went to La Mesa Dam Ecopark yesterday afternoon. Had so much fun! The boating part was extremely fuuuuun~! Para kaming mga skandalosang babae dun eh. We kept on shouting and nagging at each other because of the way the other person paddles. Laughtrip talaga. Hahaha!

Pictures soon. :D

APRIL NA.

It's been a month since I last posted here. Kasi naman, natutuwa na ulit ako sa bravejournal ko... Sa sobrang tuwa ko, baka baguhin ko yung layout (walang halong sarcasm yan ah). Speaking of sarcasm, I remembered watching "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends" earlier this morning. Naaaliw talaga ako sa show na 'yun... Me like blue. Totemo kawaii~! The boy and the girl were trying to make blue understand what sarcasm is. Ironically, blue uses it all the time; he just doesn't know that it's sarcasm. XP

So many things have happened during the time I neglected to post here. Most of them, I have written in my bravejournal and livejournal already, so I don't see the need to narrate them again. Instead, I'll just talk about what's happening now. Haha!

Well, I'm spending more and more of my time in Soompi's Hunnieland [http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=4656&st=21580]. Gosh, I do not know how to put a link. It's always fun to camp there and chat with the other hunnies. Haha!

Aside from that, I've also been reading fictions written by fellow hunnies and hyoonies. (I'd like to put a list of all the stories but I'm afraid the links might become a nuisance to the neatness of this entry so, I'll post it in any of my other blogs instead.) Because of that, I became inspired to write a fiction of my own too! I'm still in the process of writing chapter four. Once I get to write chapter five, I might post it in Soompi for everyone to read. (Yah, I don't have the confidence to put it up because I think it still sucks. )

Anyway, enough of that. Real life updates:
Halo-halo's gimmick organizers (aka. Khar and Pauline) planned a trip to Batangas. I really do hope it pushes through since minsan-minsan lang naman mangyari ito. And besides, we might not get the chance to see each other for quite some time since college is going to start again in a little more than a month. Blegh (for the last part because I don't want it to start. Haha).

Another thing, I will no longer pursue Ateneo. Shattered dreams. I haven't even written an essay yet. Add to that the fact that I don't have enough money to get a transcript and commute back and forth from UST to ADMU to my house. I guess I'm stuck in CA for now. Yes, because I don't want to graduate as a CA student noh. Honestly speaking, I'd rather be in BES. I do not wish to explain my reasons but it definitely has nothing to do with the people in CA.

Right now, I'm terribly hating college. Why? There are so many reasons, but the main reason is that nothing seems to go my way. I know... Maybe what I wanted is not meant for me BUT (!), it's not that. Aside from nothing going my way, I also hate the fact that it is entirely my fault. Nagpabaya ako. Hindi ko mang lubusang matanggap, ito ang katotohanan kaya wala akong magawa. Motto baka mainichi desu yo! (Tama ba yan?) Kaya 'eto na talaga. 'Pag nagsimula ang pasukan, seryosohan na sa pag-aaral. HINDI PWEDENG HINDI AKO DEAN'S LISTER! At, wala munang kaibi-kaibigan kasi ito ang nakakasira sa mga plano ko. Sorry, hindi ko kayang pagsabayin ang kaibigan at pag-aaral. Pasensya na.

Whew. Doumo gomenasai talaga! Cheosonghamnida! But, I really have to take things seriously now since time is not by my side anymore.

Not feeling all so giddy... In fact, I feel really depressed. All the things that had been happening these past weeks have been the most depressing experiences ever IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. As much as I'd like to elaborate on them, I'd rather keep my mouth shut (or my hands from typing, in this case). It's as if I'd just rather fade into oblivion without realizing it, and then realize everything's a dream. I'm looking for all kinds of scapegoats to forget those sad sad days.

And there are times when, all of the sudden, I'd just like to cry and cry and cry because it feels so heavy inside. For some people, my dilemma is only considered as a minor problem... But for me, it isn't. IT'S A BIG DEAL, OKAY.

Because of this, I want school to end, but at the same time, I also don't want it to end because that would mean, I'd finally face failure once again (aka. the card).

It's all because of that ONE subject. I don't know where I went wrong, really. The other one, I'd completely accept it if I fail because I know I deserve it (or maybe not, but you get the point), but the former? Ih, not in a lifetime unless he can justify the grade he has given me.

I just really don't know what to think now. I don't feel like studying anymore. I don't see the point in exerting any effort into studying, add to that the fact that nothing seems to enter my mind when I study. Dammit.

Ima wa urei desu. Mainichi ga urei desu. Itsu owarimasuka? Benkyou ga kirai desu... hoshi deshita. Shikashi, zettai benkyou! Nanda zettai benkyou desu ka?! Tanoshikunai~... Tsumaranai desuyo!

Life is truly unfair, isn't it? I truly hate prejudiced and biased people. Yuuh!